In the summer of 2015, I found myself not understanding my purpose, feeling hopeless and needing guidance. I found myself watching an overload of astrology videos of daily, weekly and monthly horoscopes. I needed guidance. A few of the astrologers I would watch, would do tarot as well.
I remember being in my teens and watching my older sister throw cards sometimes. I was against it. “Why do you have to question God? Why do you need to know the future?” etc.. I didn’t understand the power of energy and the power of INTENTION at the time. I judged based on preconditioned notions.
I was looking for work that summer and found myself training as a bartender at Benjamin Steakhouse in New York City. I didn’t like the energy. It was dark in there, I felt depressed and could feel the cut throat energy already. There was no excitement in me at all, that hopelessness took over. But the bartender who was training me, introduced me to something that would change my life forever.
I am not sure how we ended up talking about it, I believe she brought it up, but the conversation brought us to past lives, meditation, spiritual retreats, visions etc. She told me about a book called '“Journey of Souls” by Dr. Michael Newton. This book changed me forever.
“Journey of Souls” is a book of case studies, that Dr. Michael Newton recorded and documented throughout his career of a therapist. He was a traditional therapist, and an atheist. Until a client of his begged him for a past life regression because of a pain no doctor could diagnose. Through hypnosis, Dr. Newton takes the client through a process moving backwards; through their current lives, to their childhood, back into the womb and back to the point of death in their most recent past life. In a super conscious state, they recall their experiences.
This book ultimately is accounts of experiences of life after death, spirit world, a non-human perspective of this human life and world we currently are experiencing. Working through the human EGO, this book covers so many different aspects of life lessons, reasoning, levels, souls, spirit world, dreams, consciousness and awareness. His second book “Destiny of Souls” covers more about dream weavers, signs from spirit and this Earth plane.
After reading these two books, my perspective on life and death was different. I could see deeper than just this physical and material world. My perspective on intention changed too, the awareness we bring. The energy we are, our BEING, our surroundings. It was refreshing, to read something out of the ordinary, that my whole life I was searching for. I recommend these books to EVERYONE.
Of course when reading “Journey of Souls”, I took it with a grain of salt, but everything rang so true to me. The articulation. Dr. Newton surely is not the only one to write about our human journey or the soul. After I read his books, I started doing more research. I somehow got into Aristotle’s “De Anima” (On the Soul). I took philosophy classes about illusions and perception at school. Im also Greek so I’d say its in my blood somewhere lol. Over analysis galore.
As a photographer/visual artist, things can sometimes translate to me in a more transcendant way than just objectively. Symbols, deeper meanings. I over analyze in general. Im trying to look deeper than the surface. Or its trying to tell ME something? So what better conduit for my intuition than to read tarot myself?
I was always intuitive, mostly through my dreams. I would have clear and vivid dreams, that would sometimes play out in real life after seeing them. But I grew more curious. I was already into manifesting being inspired by “The Secret”, but needed more. More motivation, more information and more insight. I needed a new past time too; while sitting, smoking and overthinking about the soul and our journey. So I bought my first Rider-Waite and Pocket Guide to Tarot by Alan Oken. I started learning the cards with keywords, focused lightly on symbolism, and my intuition around the meaning. I would do readings for my friends, and they would want more. We noticed an extreme amount of validation and confirmation. Not so much “fortune telling” but more opportunities or energy gauging.
After 6 months, I noticed I felt drained after reading. I got a new deck and put the Rider-waite on my shelf. I was in California and wanted a deck from there with “California” energy. That mountainous crown chakra, free spirited, open, refreshing energy. I was going for the Aquarian Tarot (as I am an Aquarius) and was not drawn to it at all, it was too dark. I saw the Cosmic Tarot and that was it. Ive been reading with it ever since. The colors draw me in and the imagery strikes me. I feel this deck is an extension of myself. I know it, I feel its mine. Developing my tarot skills, I start noticing more associations. I correlate colors to chakras, use brief astrology, metaphors, plays on words.
More skills (that I already had but were repressed, which we ALL have) like telepathy or clairaudience started becoming very prominent. I could hear others. When reading tarot sometimes things pop into my head which are nowhere to be found in the cards or spread and seems random, but I hear it from somewhere, and yes, I always mention it. Why? Because it DID come from somewhere. The querent will not tell you everything, sometimes purposely or not. What if they were thinking about it? What if it was a subconscious thought? What if there is a future message in that? Sometimes the tarot shows us something we aren’t looking for. Its important to be open to all messages. The ego often times has expectations of what we want to hear. That doesnt always serve us though.
Speaking to the draining of energy- Ive learned to set an intention to protect my own energy, and to ask for only the most beneficial messages to guide the querent. Adding crystal protection and calling upon God and the Archangels helps to maintain my energy and clarity.
Every reader is different, every gift is different. Clairvoyance is ‘clear seeing’, “clairaudience, is “clear hearing” etc. (I will do a post in the future about this.) It is important to know the intention of your reader. And most importantly- all of us have our paths and all of us have the capability to “tune in” to God, source, Angels, Guides, Universe etc. or in simple terms, to follow our own intuition.
My tarot practice now is mostly revolved around energy gauging, self healing, manifesting, releasing the toxic part of ego and finding a balance with our souls, human experience and purpose. I do predict, but less in the form of looking at one card and saying something of the sort: “You will meet someone with a name that starts with B and ends with D around the 25th of the month around the corner from your job" and more in the form of “I see a good opportunity around this time to set intentions for x, y and z or what energy I see happening around you or coming in, or how you can get to where you are going. I don’t do so much YES or NO questions either. More constructive questions.
There is a lot of speculation and criticism around intuitive people, psychics, mediums, astrologers, tarot readers; that they are fakes, all for money, spiritual “positivity” mumbo jumbo, give cryptic messages that dont make sense. And yes, that is true, fakes do exist. Everything in life in my opinion is always 50/50. But, there are people out there that do not take advantage of vulnerability, but rather help or teach a way to find that peace within yourself. To empower. A way that involves less ego, and more understanding of the human experience. I have NO intentions to hurt, to abuse or use anyone, to sacrifice anything, to manipulate, to use dark magic or portals of those types. Evil does exist, I do NOT take any part in evil or dark energies, or manipulating anyones free will. Each to their own, but this is the kind of person and reader that I am. My intention is to help YOU find YOUR way, and to teach you what I know, that has helped me alleviate pain and struggle. Life is not supposed to be so hard, its our playground!
But when someone has experienced so much hurt, pain and ego, it can be hard to believe in anything, because everything around you seems to have failed you. God? How can a God exist if so much pain and hatred and violence exists in this world? Whats the point in believing? Then.. how can I exist? I have done bad things too. Do I not exist? Indeed, Im here.. Im typing all this.. Should I not believe in myself any further? In my power, in my strength, in my will to change and grow? Me, as Alexandra, Im going to say NO, I SHOULD believe in myself. and im going to tell you too, to believe in YOURSELF. Less of the ego self, more of the purity of you. What about those people that have been to hell and back but still maintain composure? Still can find happiness? Thats hard yes but, doable. Its all a process, a choice and a perception.
It is looking within YOURSELF for the answers, because everything we need is in our own hard drive; our subconscious. You see how I did that there? Hard drive- part of a computer. Us- part of source. What we ASK for, whether it’s that CLARITY to get ourselves out of a bad situation or see differently, wether its RELIEF to not feel pain anymore, that asking is coming from a deep part of you. Well I just said extension of source, so how is it me? WE ARE EXTENSIONS OF SOURCE! We are all connected!
In this world, thoughts (non tangible) become things (tangible) creating the physical, material world we live in. Ideas, thoughts, dreams, where do they come from? The questions of existentialism stimulate me so much, I began to create art about it. That was another reaction to all this higher powered, soul, grand design of God; to make it into art, so I could understand more, and so I could show others this exists.
I get called preachy a lot, as if I am trying to sway people into this, or the fact it can seem “un-Godly or un-holy". So I try to add a scientific perspective to it all. I don’t know everything, no one does. But alternate or new ways of thinking or questioning, scares people I think. It’s uncomfortable. Do I believe God is a man in the sky? No. Do I believe a higher source exists, yes. Because I and even scientists, cant explain certain things, like: metamorphosis for example. How does every caterpillar CHANGE from one being to another utterly unique being? How does that happen? Who designed that? How does it happen internally for each caterpillar to change into a butterfly with unique pattern on their wings? HOW? Who decided that internal process of change? Who decided our body design? Who created water? So many questions.
So how does it make sense that the answer is within, but we are looking at cards for questions and answers? For me, tarot is just the conduit. The deciphering of the message, awareness of the moment, the setting of intention based on the vibration I am receiving. We are joining energies, meeting somewhere, tuning in with each other, with the guidance of higher source, OUR higher sources. Also the intention is to look at the cards to find which ways you can go to find those answers and what a possible result could be; an intention for growth and perspective. Spiritual growth. Sometimes this is the outlet we are drawn to. One of my professors from The New School told us, “If you believe it you see it. If you don’t believe it you don’t see it.” This rung true for me. There are other options too that are spiritual and non-spiritual. Tarot is never guaranteed 100% accurate or maybe its not the time to know certain information. We have free will and nothing is set in stone, there are infinite possibilities at any moment.
Something I am exploring right now is using the tarot as a mode for locating missing persons to develop tarot and intuitive skills. I am practicing at the moment with solved cases, and I will write a lot more about that soon and include notes and reports being worked on currently. A different context for the tarot instead of a general, career, love, relationship or manifesting spread, can help find more meaning in the cards.
A lot of tangents but, I hope to explore and elaborate a lot more on these topics and more, and this is just a start, and also my first blog. I will be writing more about tarot analysis and ways to use it. As well as talking about spiritual protection, tools, intention setting, manifesting, dream analysis, meditation, art, symbols, God, spirit, source, life paths, purpose, magic, frauds, energy. I will also write about influences in further detail soon. Looking to start a podcast as well.
I also will be interviewing other healers, artists, astrologers, tarot readers etc. If you would like to be included comment below or email me firstname.lastname@example.org !!!
Let me know what you think in the comments below. Do you practice tarot or any other spiritual practice? Is there something you want me to cover here? Please feel free to comment below.
THANK YOU FOR JOINING ME AND READING :)